The Ultimate Troll
by dudeaga
Summary: What happens when you cross over Katawa Shoujo with a serious, dark, depressing, edgy, full of social commentary TV drama known as The Wire? Check the darn story and find out!


This shit was written in 30 minutes. Prepare for your eyes to bleed.

Quite possibly the weirdest crossover ever:

Katawa Shoujo/The Wire + Crack.

DEAR GOD, TURN BACK NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! REPORT THIS SHIT AND RUN!

Note: For added immersive experience in this song, I recommend these songs.

Headsprung- LL Cool J

Fuck the Police or Gangsta Gangsta- N.W.A.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Gangsta Version-Collegehumor

One more note: Extreme OOC-ness. You have been warned.

Now, when Hisao Nakai woke up this morning, he did not expect his life to be suddenly drenched in a bunch of references to African-American gangster culture that he would have to look up on the computer to understand. No, this day started as normal as any other. Well at least, for the first five minutes. Nakai took his pills, and began to walk out the door, when suddenly a blur entered his room.

"Holy shi-"

A hand reached from behind him and cupped his mouth, rendering him unable to speak. The other hand reached around and closed the door.

"Sheeeeeeeeeeit, niggah, we got that five-oh rollin' up in this bitch. Shut yo fuckin' mouth up!"

If you, like most readers who have taken High School College Preparation courses that deal with literary analysis (and read crossovers), you would know that the fact that someone speaking in a radically different way in contrast to the other characters meant that a character from a separate universe has entered the fanfiction. WRONG. No, in fact, the voice that said this was quite high pitched. Went on runs every morning with Hisao. Has no legs. Is a friend of Rin's. Does this ring a bell? If it doesn't, I doubt you should be reading this story. Nevertheless, Mr. Master of Romance was quite shocked that Emi was speaking in such a manner. After getting over his initial shock, he burst into laughter.

"Whahahaha, oh, this, THIS IS FUCKING PRICELESS!1111oneoneeleven!"

Emi's jimmies were quite rustled.

"Man, fuck you, peter-puffing motherfucker."

This made Dr. Swagger (V.E.S.T.) degenerate into even more laughter while Emi just left the room giving him the finger.

After the giggle fit, Hisao actually decided to get some shit done. And go outside. But what he saw outside shocked him. What, dear reader, shocked him so much that this sentence and the last sound extremely cliched? Kenji doing weird shit? No, that was a regular occurrence. Extremely hot scene between two chicks whose names start with H and L? No. Someone getting robbed? Nope, Chuck Testa. It was a combination of all three. Hanako Ikezawa and Lilly Satou held up by Kenji at gunpoint. For a while this silence lasted until Hanako spoke.

"Oh so you got a gun so you want to pop that," then pulling out an AK-47, she continued, "AK-47 now nigga stop that."

Kenji proceeded to stop what he was doing, and drop all his shit while looking very much like he needed to use the emergency facilities. The ones that evacuate one's bowels.

"Mmm. You see why we do this Lilly? Not to take the tea back from Kenji, but for the look on his face."

"Mmmhmm."

They then proceeded to make out, which unfortunately caused Hisao to go

"HNNNNNNNNNNG,"

and drop like he had had an unfavorable meeting with Brother Mouzone.

"Hanako?"

"Yes, Lilly?"

"I cannot think of a Brother Mouzone reference to make."

"Me neither."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the City of Baltim-I mean the student council room...

"They gonna come talk to me about abuse of power? From the student council? SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIT TTTTTTTTT, Shizune signed rather angrily.

"They gonna come talk to me about abuse of power? From the student council? SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIT TTTTTTTTT~" Misha said to Mutou.

While the overall effect of Shizune's original message was not lost on the classroom's teacher, the fact that she had Misha saying the message for her made this quite humorous. Mutou was about to lose it when he was saved by a certain armless artist Bubbles fill-in walking in.

"Yo. Where can I get some of that WMTEA?"

Back to our hero/only sane man/bane of superiors/used in this scene as a McNulty replacement...

Hisao woke to quite an unpleasant experience. Jigoro. Yes, fucking Jigoro.

"These are for you, Nakai."

Jigoro stuck both of his middle fingers up.

"One of these is going up your future. And the other one," he wriggled one of his middle fingers, "is going up your ugly Japanese ass."

Nakai only responded in classic McNulty form.

"What the fuck did I do?"

That, my fellow KS lovers, is why we don't ask for a Jigoro route.

During the informal Jigoro route...

The Miki was quite irked. First she had to tell Hisao, the master of sweater vests, something about the clothes a certain Kenji was wearing.

Flashback:

"Looks like he's wearing a...Perry Ellis or something, Miki."

"Now how would a just-rolled out of bed motherfucker like you know the designer?"

"What, you don't think I know the designer? I wear sweater vests, that is like a fucking degree in fashion."

"I call your bluff."

"...Fine, I'm guessing. I bet you can't guess it."

"...That's a Joseph Abboud. He puts dark buttons instead of brass on his blazers."

"I never understand how all you girls keep up which designer is which."

"I don't suppose I'm special, Hisao. I'm just a humble motherfucker with some big ass tits."

Hisao immediately HNNNNNNG'ed for comedic effect.

And to no one in particular, at a very particular crime scene, Miki speaks.

"Fuck, fuck. Motherfucker, fuck, fuck, fuck, motherfucker. (How the fuck do I do one of the most memorable scenes in the series without Hisao?)"

Hisao awoke. Again. After all the weird shit that was happening today, the just rolled out of bed motherfucker decided to get back into bed, because Kenji probably slipped something into his drink while on their manly picnic (which did not end in tragedy, this time). Probably something about keeping the feminists out of his mind, or some shit like that. He was just about to enter his bed when...

"TRICK OR TREAT FAGGOTS!"

"GODAMMIT KENJI YOU SICK FUCK, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM."

"No! Wait! Don't close the door on my face! It's about all the weird events of today."

"...I'm listening."

"Phew. I was glad. Now, as I was saying-"

"You better not cut to black in the middle of the explanation, like The Sopranos."

"Naw man, that's the wrong American gangster pop culture reference. Now, it all started with a bet between Shizune, Emi, and Lill-"

CUT TO BLACK.

-trollface-


End file.
